Office Space

Whew! I'm emerging for a breather after some especially stressful and busy days at work so I can share part of a corporate e-mail about my workplace (etpetra, you'll appreciate this). You see, whenever a new building opens on the grounds, somebody in Administration gets a bee in her bonnet about the office environment. So everyone here gets a message like this:

While we all appreciate working in such a creative environment, we ask that you follow a few guidelines so that we may maintain a professional office atmosphere that is complementary to the facility and sensitive to all.

If you are in an office, we ask that you not hang any personal artwork. We will soon be providing a selection of art from which you may choose for your office. If you have a personal piece that you feel strongly about, please ask Faith to stop by to discuss it.

Glass panels in offices and work stations are designed to allow light to permeate the entire floor, and they are not designed to be covered or to peer into.

If you are in a work station, please do not cover the glass panels.

Please do not hang anything from the ceiling, doorway, windows, or glass panels, e.g. curtains, mobiles, blinds.

Please don't add rugs or doormats to your personal area.

OK, I was holding my breath to see what they'd say about cubicle walls, since I am not high enough on the totem pole to have my own office. And thank God I'm not in the new building, where cube walls are partially made of glass panels, which now, apparently, cannot be covered (because, you know, it really would be a shame to block the overhead fluorescent lighting). I mean, it's like prison: You and your cube neighbor could turn toward each other, put your hands on the glass, and have a telephone conversation. No wait—I guess you couldn't do that because it would violate the no-peering rule. Huh. They are killing all the fun.

So...nothing was said about cube walls. Mine are decorated quite nicely, and I don't plan on taking anything down unless they make me. If it comes to it, I guess I could call Faith and talk to her about why I feel strongly about all of my Alabama Theater postcards; my various Orson Welles pictures; my vintage travel poster calendar (so very ironic, considering my previous blog post); the lovely Robert Doisneau photo Kiss by the Hôtel De Ville; my printout of Matt Goening's awesome ”How to Be a Clever Film Critic” comic, which always makes me laugh; my nephew's glittery work of abstract art; various photos; or my much-loved 16 Horsepower sticker.

But I'm appalled that I can't hang a mobile from the ceiling. What is this world coming to?