Contacts: A Rant

That's my right eye. The bubble, which I'm surprised shows up in photos, would be a contact lens, of course. And it's a mighty expensive one—$144 just for that one alone.

I've been going through an ordeal during the last several months:

Trips to my optometrist: seven and counting

Pairs of lenses tried so far: four

Number that gave me clear vision: zero. And that's even after the adjustment period. Nothing has worked, and my vision with the lenses has been about the same as if I just took off my glasses and used nothing. I mean, some lenses have been slightly better than others, and I've been able to see enough to get around, but it's been frustrating and has given me headaches and very sore eyes. I just got my fourth pair this week, and they are about the same. I'm somehow supposed to wear the lenses to work, but I can't, especially when I'm paid to read all day. So that leaves me nights and weekends, and forget that if I actually want to do something like watch a movie, drive without worrying too much, etc.—you know, stuff where it would be particularly nice to be able to see. While wearing my third pair, though, I did manage to go to the store, cook dinner, have a friend over, and generally entertain. No clear vision, but at least they were comfortable enough to wear all day, and on that particular day, I wore them about 11 hours—a record for me.

Condition of my eyes: Weird. At least, that's what they tell me. They're extremely flat, need a plus power, and are astigmatic—a perfect storm of conditions that my doctor warned me about on my first visit; he told me it would be quite the challenge to fit me properly, but we were both willing to go for it. At this point, every pair of disposable soft lenses has been ruled out because they don't come in the proper size or power that I need. Wait, there was one that might have worked—my doctor showed it to me in the big book o' contact lens info so I could see it's been discontinued. Sigh. So I'm now trying the conventional lenses that have to be worn a year or more.

Times I've fainted during all of this: zero (shocking). I've always been particularly squeamish about my eyes and have dreaded the thought of putting anything in them, much less attempting to take something out. The photo above is proof that I actually did it—yay!

Times I've felt faint: Several when I first started, but the worst case was when they were inserted for the very first time. Because, really, there's nothing quite like learning how to do that in the office's lobby in front of the receptionist and other patients. Seriously, they couldn't have given me my own room for that?! I've had my own room ever since, but the first time was very public and ended with them having to bring me water and direct a large fan at my face. Quite embarrassing. Other highlights: A patient came in and actually asked what on earth they were doing to me. Another patient showed sympathy by saying she used to be as bad as me. And the woman who trained me declared loudly, "Bless your heart, you're shaking like a leaf!" (I was.) She also told the doctor, "Well, she's been at it for 20 minutes and has only managed to get one in." Guess what, though? As soon as she left me alone and quit watching me, I could put the things in and take them out.

How hard are they to put in and take out?: I've found that it depends on the thickness of the lenses. In general, I think they are easier to insert than remove. Once, I wondered if it would be possible to cry the things out.

The pluses of all this?: I've not paid for a single visit after my first one. My doctor charges the same base fee no matter if you require one fitting or 20. And the lenses haven't cost me anything so far. Also, I bought some new sunglasses and got to wear them. And yes, I am really proud of myself for getting over the squeamishness. I've also been surprised that some lenses have been very comfortable. I've had some that I couldn't really feel. Here's hoping comfort and clarity will converge someday for me.

Recent weather: This is our tenth straight day of temps at 100 degrees or more (105 yesterday). And we're having a draught. Contact wearers know this can dry out lenses, but I really just had to throw this in here because, dang, it's been HOT, and I just wanted to say that.

Apologies I owe my readers (if you're still reading): At least one—for this rambling complaint.